U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
