Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
