Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize
