I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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