i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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