i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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