okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
