What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize