who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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