Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
