I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
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