So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
