I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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