she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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