the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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