Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Sober January is a disaster.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
