I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
