Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize