TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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