sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
