He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
