So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
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