You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
