I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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