And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
