I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize