Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I think i peed on brittanys purse
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
