girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
They have beer where we have blood.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize