Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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