the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
