I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
