eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
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