Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
