I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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