ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I need to calm my uterus...
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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