This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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