Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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