it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
