Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
