I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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