worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
