no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
