Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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