We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Randomize
