I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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