meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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