Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
