did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
