i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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