DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I am one with the molecules
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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