i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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