used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
