I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i barfeds in our rink
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Randomize
