I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Randomize
