id be glad to
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
