Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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