You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
