ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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