Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
