I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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