either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize