Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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