My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
