I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
