it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
