Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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