Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
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