Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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