Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
