I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
