Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
