thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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