Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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