The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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