he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
