I've blown a few things in my day
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
